As a self-proclaimed femme lesbian, I adore masculine identified women. First let me state my disclaimers: 1) I do not believe that labels define us, nor should they box us into dating only one type of woman. I think if you are femme and you like other femmes, or if you are a stud and you like other studs, more power to you (in my 60’s voice), and if you have no label and feel free to date whomever you choose–I support you! 2)The opinions stated in this article are mine and mine alone. I am simply expressing my thoughts on this subject and they are not to represent the philosophy of any group of lesbians. Now that I have put all of my politically-conscious sisters at ease, I would love to share my thoughts with you in hopes that you might share yours with me too.
Stud/Butch/AG/Boi…by whatever name you call it, I certainly find myself attracted to that energy. However I do not limit myself. I have been in a relationship with another femme woman, and I loved her. I would even go as far as to say that I was the more masculine energy in that relationship. For those of you who know me, you can stop giggling now! 🙂 It is true! I am, what I acknowledge to be, an aggressive-femme. I also believe that gender expression is far more fluid than we lend it credence. For that matter gender identity, a gender role and sexual orientation are not the same thing. Let’s explore this for more clarity:
GENDER IDENTITY: “Gender identity is defined as a personal conception of oneself as male or female (or rarely, both or neither). This concept is intimately related to the concept of gender role, which is defined as the outward manifestations of personality that reflect the gender identity. Gender identity, in nearly all instances, is self-identified, as a result of a combination of inherent and extrinsic or environmental factors…” Quoted from Medscape.com
GENDER ROLE: “A gender role is a set of social and behavioral norms that are generally considered appropriate for either a man or a woman in a social or interpersonal relationship. There are differences of opinion as to which observed differences in behavior and personality between genders are entirely due to innate personality of the person and which are due to cultural or social factors, and are therefore the product of socialization, or to what extent gender differences are due to biological and physiological differences. Gender roles differ according to cultural-historical context, and while most cultures express two genders, some express more…” Quoted from Wikipedia
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: “Sexual orientation refers to an enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions to men, women, or both sexes. Sexual orientation also refers to a person’s sense of identity based on those attractions, related behaviors, and membership in a community of others who share those attractions. Research over several decades has demonstrated that sexual orientation ranges along a continuum, from exclusive attraction to the other sex to exclusive attraction to the same sex. However, sexual orientation is usually discussed in terms of three categories: heterosexual (having emotional, romantic, or sexual attractions to members of the other sex), gay/lesbian (having emotional, romantic, or sexual attractions to members of one’s own sex), and bisexual (having emotional, romantic, or sexual attractions to both men and women). This range of behaviors and attractions has been described in various cultures and nations throughout the world.” Quoted from the American Psychological Association